Coffee cafietiere espresso

Yeah Yeah No. Laura Eades 2013

Dear myself,

I am writing to remind you how deluded you are about coffee. If this letter seems rambling and manic, I apologise – I wrote it when I was steaming tanked-up and brllggbbll caffeinated to the hilt!

I know, I know. You’ve analysed the key payoffs and I know them to be OPTIMISM and IDEAS and A SENSE OF PURPOSE. But you pay for these dearly when YOU LOSE YOUR FOCUS and then just get bogged down in a habit.

Why do you do it to yourself, over and over?

Understand, then, and understand well, my dear friend (self), that losing focus is for you deeply painful. Purposeless is a state that you find psychologically agonising. Yet – or perhaps because of this – you’ve created a system for yourself that brings you inevitably back to your own personal hell time and time again. Why?

Because your life challenge is around the theme of purpose. Notice that this is something you pursue that others do not, necessarily feel bugged by.

A thousand ideas (well, five actually) about the challenge of purpose

The purposeful porpoise. One Good Raisin. Give me one good raisin. (You see? Did you see what happened there? You just had a daydream.

  • You imagined starting a blog with these names.
  • You imagined becoming an expert in the field of ‘purpose’.
  • You wondered if your next job should have something to do with the idea of purpose.
  • You wondered if you should undergo some of that therapy that’s all about occupation. What’s it called? You wondered what it’s called. (A Logotherapist)
  • You wondered if you should retrain as a therapist like that. Now you’ll go and look it up on the internet. (Already done it). Then you came up with the name. And then gave yourself a massive congratulation for being a genius. You found your IdeaHigh.

What does this illustrate? What a big kick I get out of firing around loads of ideas, that’s what. What a huge surge of inspiration exhilation. What a huge detour. I can’t even remember where I was heading anymore. Suddenly I’m shooting off to see if anyone’s using those domain names (they are – the Purposeful Porpoise is a band in Los Angeles and I just listened to their pleasant Overture) and find out if anyone’s tried logotherapy.

I think it’ll make me more productive, and purposeful. But it scatters my focus

So I goad myself into having a cup of coffee – in a weak moment of impatience and negativity. (If negative then evidently not congratulating self! Evidently not even being kind to self! Look out for these warning signs next time, Dear Friend/self) thinking I’ll be more productive, (which I am, but only for the first couple of days) and then accidentally create a massive sabotage to myself. I think I’ll take a faster route, but it turns out to be a short stretch of autobahn followed by offroading into a ditch, a huge detour with added repair costs.

Please drive more carefully in future.

Best wishes,

Me. x

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This post is part of the Cool, calm and caffeinated series – read more here.

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Do you derail your creative processes, unsteady your concentration and feed yourself myths about coffee? Or have you risen above and are cruising along at a steadier speed? Incidentally, has anyone tried logotherapy? Click on the grey dot with a ‘plus’ sign to open the comment thread