Mad maternity thoughts: ‘I’ll accidentally break my baby’

As my brain tries to wrap itself around the delicacy of my newborn baby, and my responsibility, I dream…

Octopus bath toy

Octopus bath toy. Laura Eades 2014

…I let the baby, who in my dream is as tiny as my older daughter’s little octopus bathtoy, slip under the surface of the bathwater, where she drowns.

I squeeze her out like I squeeze out the toys. Water streams out in a neat fountain.

Then, while I’m contemplating resuscitation, I wake up. I listen. The baby’s still breathing, of course. She’s alive!

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